Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Wanted: Good Parents

"Parental requirements:
Affection without sentiment,
authority without cruelty,
discipline without aggression,
humor without ridicule,
sacrifice without obligation,
companionship without possessiveness."

Author: William E. Blatz

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Baby Powder

• I went skiing in Vail today (great time!). The number of rug rats out on the hill today ('lil rippers in the pow) was unbelievable. They were tiny, fearless and pretty damn good on those elf skis. I know it won't be long before my guy is out there (skiing circles around Dad). Here's the criteria for ski school: "must be 3 years old, potty trained and willing to learn to ski" (Dear Lord, please tell me that 3 years old and potty trained are redundant expectations).

• The baby is growing at an amazing rate: 1' tall and 3 lbs now. He will add another 3/8" by the end of the week

• His brain enters another period of rapid growth, producing hundreds of billions of new nerve cells!

The Little Chap Who Follows Me

A careful man I ought to be,
A little fellow follows me,
I do not dare to go astray
For fear he'll go the selfsame way.

I cannot once escape his eyes,
Whate'er he sees me do, he tries;
Like me, he says, he's going to be,
The little chap who follows me.

He thinks that I am good and fine,
Believes in every word of mine
The base in me he must not see,
The little chap who follows me.

I must remember as I go,
Through summer's fun and winter's snow,
In building for the years to be
The little chap who follows me!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Dipey and Wipey

  • K and I were having a diaper discussion last night.  Apparently, the baby will go through 3000 diapers per year (was this the "change" that Obama was promising me???). 
K says we are going with the gDiaper (What up G? . . . I hope he's not packin' heat in that diaper).  They say we can flush, compost, or toss the diapers (for a happy planet, of course). 

Compost?  Really?  Just in case Grandpa Joe wants baby's miracle grow for his greenscape . . . here's the smelly truth:   "Believe it or not, there are beneficial nutrients in those wet flushable diaper refills. And the soil in your garden will love you for sharing the contents of your eco-friendly diapers."   That will make for an awkward "fresh" garden salad, eh Mom?

  • A very funny statistic I ran across this week regarding push presents ( a present a new father gives a new mother when she gives birth to their child):   
    A 2007 survey of over 30,000 respondents by BabyCenter.com found that 38% of new mothers received a push present, and 55% of pregnant mothers wanted one.
    Sooooo, 55% of pregnant mothers wanted one???? That tells me that 45% of the mothers were bold faced liars immediately following childbirth. 

Sunday, March 21, 2010

On Children by Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.


  • The baby's iris is beginning to respond to light intensity (pupillary reflex).  His eyes can move from side to side.  He may even reach out to touch the light from time to time.

  • Below are some photos at 30 weeks (disclaimer: it's not our kid).  I have to wonder how you could ever be closterphobic after it all began like this (Uncle Matt? Did you say sleeping bags?). It looks like one of those Cirque du Soleil talents from Eastern Europe.  "Behold, the incredible flexibility the Folding Maloley!"   

Friday, March 19, 2010

Dads Stand Up

This is one of my favorite stand-up acts of all time.  I probably watched it 20+ times on Comedy Central while in dental school (yes, I should have been studying Biochem or Molars 101).  I almost had it memorized (unlike the Krebs cycle).  This particular segment on parenthood always cracked me up: 

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Bed Bug or Rude Awakening or That's nuts!

  • I woke up this morning to our dog, Brux, jumping on the bed and prancing circles on my back.  I can only wonder how soon that will be a child instead of a dog. 
  • The boy's testes are descending (too much information?).  The scrotum is designed to maintain temperature control.  It brings them closer to the body to warm them (aka shrinkage) and relaxes them away from the body to cool them. 

Good Advice. Bad Wallpaper.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Lil Red

  • We picked up a couple baby outfits (are they called unitards? singlets? one-z???) at Walmart last night.  I believes the grand total is up to 4.  That also means that my child's wardrobe is 50% Husker gear.  Goooo Biiiiiig Re--ed!  Go Big Red!  If Pelini stays as long as Dr. Tom did, we might be able to supply him with a Maloley at rush end (only if he avoids his Dad's athletic abilities and picks up some of Mom's). 

  • It's Day 201 of the pregnancy - just 65 days to go.  The baby's brain is developing rapidly, increasing the number of individual connections between individual nerve cells and indentifying groups of cells that will perform complicated functions (like root canals on molars of terrified patients that won't open their mouth more than a few microns) throughout the baby's lifetime. 

Sunday, March 14, 2010

The wonder of you

Deepak always blows my mind:


This morning, I'm watching "Meet the Press" hosted by Tom Brokaw.  I always enjoy the show and am a big Brokaw fan (I love the homage he pays the WWII vets).  But inevitably, I find myself missing Tim Russert's presence on the show. 

Tim Russert's left a legacy as a proud father and a proud son of Big Russ.  I recall a Father's Day special when he sat in the guest seat on Meet the Press.  He was being interviewed about his book "Wisdom of our Fathers"  (a book which I've given my own Father).  It was an incredibly enlightening hour . . . a reminder of what is really important.

Ironically, Russ died the week of Father's Day in 2008.  I'll never forget the tribute from Brokaw and the Boss:

  •  Here's what the kid's been up to:  he may have a callous on his thumb from sucking it (like his Dad did from womb - kindergarten).  He's assuming a fetal position because there isn't room to straighten out anymore. 

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Daddy's Curse!

From the book, "Mack Daddy: Mastering Fatherhood without Losing Your Style, Your Cool, or Your Mind" . . . I received some valuable advice:
If you enjoy swearing, do it now -- in a few months, your domestic vocabulary will have to echo Mr. Rogers.
The guys at Dad Labs have some more detailed guidance:

While, I wouldn't consider myself foul-mouthed in general. I am a fairly seasoned cusser. Growing up on a farm around lots of older cousins will give you a profound "pre-school" education (yes, my time on the farm and in the Army taught me a few things other than work ethic).

Thanks to my 30+ years of swearing experience, an occasional f-bomb will fly around the house. As #$%&@ as it may sound, I think K. and I both realize this needs to change in 2010.

 "Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."
- Mark Twain

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Doctor in Edwards

  • Just got back from our, um, 5th doctor visit since November.  That's a lot!

  • The baby kicked the sensor when the doctor was getting the heartbeat.  It looked like a little Jackie Chan roundhouse kick from my angle.  It made the doc jump back.  That's funny!

  • The baby's heartbeat was 158 beats/minute.  That's fast!

  • The baby now weighs around 2 1/4 lbs . . . the weight of a quart and a half of water.  That's all?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Rocking the Baby

  • Somehow, a "Lullaby Renditions of Coldplay" CD has made it into my computer . . . and for some reason I'm listening to it (Thanks Kate & Steve).  I saw an AC/DC Lullaby CD in the bookstore last week.  It made me wonder if we could expect a different child if we exposed him to Metallica and AC/DC vs. Brahms and Bach.  I think we'll avoid the heavy metal tunes in the crib . . . all indications are that he'll be bouncing off the walls as it is.  Maybe I'll turn my boy into a lyrical genius by turning up some JayZ lullabies.  "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 8th wonder of the world . . ."

  • Lanugo is a downy hair that covered the baby's body.  It's now mostly gone (thank God).  However, there is white hair forming on his head now (Just like Grandpa Joe). 

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


  • “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years.” - Mark Twain

  • Today the baby noticing faster nerve transmission due to a process called myelinization.

  • This is the greatest father / son story I know:

Monday, March 8, 2010

News from the womb

  • Day 193 - the baby's eyelids can open and close.  Much of the time, they are open and the eyes are practicing "looking" movements. 

  • Just attended a 1 hr and 15 min yoga classwith Karah at the Avon Rec Center. . . my question is, "why is a women in her third trimester more flexible than dad?"

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Nurtureshock on CNN II

NurtureShock on CNN I

The Biggest Job We'll Ever Have

Yesterday, I was in the Bookworm in Edwards and I was looking in the "Parenting" section.  I happened across a book called, "The Biggest Job We'll Ever Have: The Hyde School Program for Character-Based Education and Parenting."  It suddenly struck me that I have very little time (~80 days) to prepare for this daddy gig.  Since then I've been combing Amazon.com trying to find the perfect formula of resources that will help me shape this lil guy into a optomistic, passionate, confident, persistant, courageous visionary who can stay humble and believe in community service . . .AND, if it's not too much to ask, I'd also like him to be able to throw a football much better than me (I'll leave that training to his mother).