An open letter to my son - Part 12

You need very few things.  A need is something you have to have.  If you want to know what you need, take a mission trip to Africa.  Go to a remote village.  See what the villagers have.  See what it takes for them to survive . . . that's what you need.  Food, water, shelter, air . . . that's about it.

Everything else is a want.  When all your real needs are met, it common for the wants to suddenly become "needs".

Most people think they "need" smart phones and a car.  Don't become baffled by popular culture.  Most things in your life are nothing more than a luxury.

Stay grateful.  Don't be a glutton.  Realize the stark contrast between needs and wants.

An open letter to my son - Part 11

Sometimes I wonder if you were “born” to be born in Colorado.  You seem to enjoy being outdoors so much.  In fact, when you were a baby . . . if you were inconsolably upset, I’d often just step outside and you would become serene.  

You love to swim, hike, and run.  I encourage you to never lose your awe of the outdoors.  It’s a great way to remember how connected to the rest of the universe you really are.  

Sometimes life will throw you curve balls.  Occasionally you will feel like your world is caving in.  Commune with nature!  Those immense Rocky Mountains can remind you how insignificant your problems are.  Nature will help recharge and reflect on your life.  

When you are feeling overwhelmed . . . let the fresh air, sun and adrenaline serve as your medicine.  

An open letter to my son - Part 10

As I write this, we are 15 days away from a Presidential election.  Mitt Romney and Barack Obama are in the middle of a close and heated race.  The polls show that they are neck and neck at the moment.  

The country is divided and I am not confident either of these guys is fit for the job.  Effective leadership is about unifying your "team" (in this case country).  

Competition is usually between you and you.  But these guys want to point fingers . . . neither seems to want to run on their own merits.  In this election it is predicted that most voters are going to vote against a candidate instead of voting for a candidate they like.  

I definitely have my political leans (which will not be discussed in this forum) but I think both of these candidates (along with almost all of their constituents) should play their own game.  They should worry about themselves or as it is often put "tend to their own garden."  And so should you.  

There are many take home points we can learn from elections such as this.  First and foremost, is do your best.  Don't worry about those around you.  Secondly, stand up for what you believe in . . . but respect others' opinions.  Third, tell the truth and don't try to make yourself look good by making someone else look bad.  

An open letter to my son - Part 9

Five years ago this week, your mom and I moved back to the United States after living in Europe for four years.  It was 2003 and I was in the Army when I received orders to serve in Germany.  The thought of moving from the U.S. kept me up many a night.  I did not want to go.  I didn’t care to be a stranger in a strange land.  

Living overseas ended up being the greatest of blessings! We savored the experience.  We traveled to over 20 countries while we were there.  We met incredible people in the two years we lived in Germany.  We then moved to Italy and made more marvelous friends.  

Our European experience taught us many things.  It certainly opened our minds to other cultures.  We learned that there is much more to life than working and accumulating stuff.  We were able to be around people who really understand how to celebrate life.  

I encourage you to aggressively travel.  Make it a priority to see the world (and take me with you!).  It will open your mind and your heart.  As Mark Twain once stated, “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.”

An open letter to my son - Part 8

Women tend to call it “intuition”.  Men usually call it “trusting their gut”.

Conscience.  Instinct.  Call it whatever you want.  I just want you to follow that feeling.  

We all have it.  It’s just not very well utilized.  We typically let our logic overrule it.  

Use your head, but don’t neglect your heart and gut.  When you hear that quiet voice . . . when that moment of inspiration strikes, take note.  Take action!  

I was once caught off guard by a wise Priest.  I was totally expecting him to start preaching to me about some religious doctrine.  He must have perceived my resistance and decided to blindside me.  He said, “David, that voice inside you is God speaking through you.  Listen to it!”  That was 1997.  I have followed his advice ever since . . . and it’s never served me wrong.

I'm going to rely on a little more Steve Jobs wisdom.
That iphone and ipad that are so intuitive for a 2 year old (i.e. you) to maneuver . . .
ya, he created them.   He's kind of a big deal.  

An open letter to my son - Part 7

You’ll hear people exclaim, “She’s so lucky”  You’ll also hear people whine, “If I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.”

Your Gido likes to say, “You’re lucky, David.”  My typical reply is “No, I’m fortunate.”  

You see, I don’t really believe in luck in the classic sense.  Despite the popularity of the notion, life really isn’t a game of chance.  If there is such thing as luck, it’s a byproduct of recognizing opportunities and seizing them.

Think of “LUCK” as an acronym for Laboring Under Correct Knowledge.  
If you do your research . . .
if you develop your talents . . .
if you have an admirable work ethic . . .
if you look at all the facts and then follow your intuition . . .
if you are decisive and persistent . . .
You will have created all the luck you’ll need.  

An open letter to my son - Part 6

Speaking of fears, I believe your goals and dreams should scare you on some level.  If your dreams don’t bring you at least a bit of anxiety, they probably aren’t big enough.  
 
In my opinion, “sweet dreams” aren’t the highest and best use of those hours in which you slumber. Since you were a baby, my standard blessing as you head off to bed has been “dream big!”  


Develop BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals) that are so compelling that they’ll fuel you over obstacles and through the criticism.  Another good investment of your time would be to find the “Last Lecture” presentation by Randy Pausch.  Randy was dying of pancreatic cancer and in this speech he suggests that the “brick walls” that we encounter while pursuing our dreams are simply there to allow us to show how badly we want something. Your BHAG will get you over that brick wall every time.  


It’s energizing to have big dreams.  Dream so big that you are just like a kid . . . so revved up that you never get tired.  As Walt Disney put it, “It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.”  


This also reminds me of a Will Smith interview that I once saw.  He said, “There’s a certain delusional quality that all successful people have to have, you have to believe that something different than what has happened for the last 50 million years of history, you have to believe that something different can happen.”   


He continues, “Being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity, why would you be realistic? I’m gonna do it, it’s done. It’s unrealistic to walk in a room and flip a switch and lights to come on. That’s unrealistic, fortunately Edison didn’t think so.  It’s unrealistic to think you’re going to bend a piece of metal and fly people over an ocean in that metal, that’s unrealistic, but fortunately the Wright brothers and others didn’t believe that.”


Since I’m in a quote kind of mood, I’ll leave you with one more on this topic.  It’s the signature advice from Apple founder, Steve Jobs:

Dream BIG, Bennett.  
Be Unrealistic.  
Stay foolish.  
Do the impossible!