Wanted: Good Parents

"Parental requirements:
Affection without sentiment,
authority without cruelty,
discipline without aggression,
humor without ridicule,
sacrifice without obligation,
companionship without possessiveness."


Author: William E. Blatz

Baby Powder

• I went skiing in Vail today (great time!). The number of rug rats out on the hill today ('lil rippers in the pow) was unbelievable. They were tiny, fearless and pretty damn good on those elf skis. I know it won't be long before my guy is out there (skiing circles around Dad). Here's the criteria for ski school: "must be 3 years old, potty trained and willing to learn to ski" (Dear Lord, please tell me that 3 years old and potty trained are redundant expectations).

• The baby is growing at an amazing rate: 1' tall and 3 lbs now. He will add another 3/8" by the end of the week

• His brain enters another period of rapid growth, producing hundreds of billions of new nerve cells!

The Little Chap Who Follows Me

A careful man I ought to be,
A little fellow follows me,
I do not dare to go astray
For fear he'll go the selfsame way.

I cannot once escape his eyes,
Whate'er he sees me do, he tries;
Like me, he says, he's going to be,
The little chap who follows me.

He thinks that I am good and fine,
Believes in every word of mine
The base in me he must not see,
The little chap who follows me.

I must remember as I go,
Through summer's fun and winter's snow,
In building for the years to be
The little chap who follows me!

Dipey and Wipey

• K and I were having a diaper discussion last night.  Apparently, the baby will go through 3000 diapers per year (was this the "change" that Obama was promising me???). 

K says we are going with the gDiaper (What up G? . . . I hope he's not packin' heat in that diaper).  They say we can flush, compost, or toss the diapers (for a happy planet, of course). 

Compost?  Really?  Just in case Grandpa Joe wants baby's miracle grow for his greenscape . . . here's the smelly truth:   "Believe it or not, there are beneficial nutrients in those wet flushable diaper refills. And the soil in your garden will love you for sharing the contents of your eco-friendly diapers."   That will make for an awkward "fresh" garden salad, eh Mom?

• A very funny statistic I ran across this week regarding push presents ( a present a new father gives a new mother when she gives birth to their child):   
  

  A 2007 survey of over 30,000 respondents by BabyCenter.com found that 38% of new mothers received a push present, and 55% of pregnant mothers wanted one.

  Sooooo, 55% of pregnant mothers wanted one???? That tells me that 45% of the mothers were bold faced liars immediately following childbirth. 

On Children by Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Closterphobia

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  The baby's iris is beginning to respond to light intensity (pupillary reflex).  His eyes can move from side to side.  He may even reach out to touch the light from time to time.
• 
  
  Below are some photos at 30 weeks (disclaimer: it's not our kid).  I have to wonder how you could ever be closterphobic after it all began like this (Uncle Matt? Did you say sleeping bags?). It looks like one of those Cirque du Soleil talents from Eastern Europe.  "Behold, the incredible flexibility the Folding Maloley!"   

Dads Stand Up

This is one of my favorite stand-up acts of all time.  I probably watched it 20+ times on Comedy Central while in dental school (yes, I should have been studying Biochem or Molars 101).  I almost had it memorized (unlike the Krebs cycle).  This particular segment on parenthood always cracked me up: