An open letter to my son - Part 30

Research shows that once our basic life needs (food, water, shelter, love) are met, happiness has little to do with your circumstances.  Develop an inner serenity that doesn't wavier.  Your mindset will determine your happiness . . . nothing more and nothing less.

An open letter to my son - Part 29

Son, I just put you down for a nap.  Moments later I hear of a senseless crime that has occurred in Connecticut.  A gunman walked into an elementary school only to extinguish innocence and destroy lives. 

The specifics are yet to come to the surface.  But suffice it to say that the general sentiment will be "What is this world coming too?"  and "There is so much evil in this world!"

This event makes me incredibly sad for that community.  But as easy as it is to turn negative on this story, I can't completely go there. 

Most people I know are good and trustworthy.   Rest assured, there will be more love in Newtown, CT tonight than any town has ever felt. 

Please don't let the all too frequent news of these heinous outliers corrupt your view of the world. Just be an intensely good human . . . and surround yourself with more of the same.  There is an abundance of goodness when you look for it. 

When you wake up, I'll hug you a little tighter than usual and I'll be certain you know how much I love you.  That moment won't be good . . . it will be great! 

An open letter to my son - Part 28

What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes!  

An open letter to my son - Part 27

You were born with talents.  That is your gift from God.

What you do with those talents is your gift to God.

Success is your obligation!  Give this life all you got!

An open letter to my son - Part 26

Yesterday, I got to see a number of tributes to a great man: Tom Osborne.  It was his last home game working for the University of Nebraska as Athletic Director.  He received accolades from friends and family.  His former players and assistant coaches had nothing but respect for him.  Even some of his rival coaches paid tribute.

There are so many things that we all can learn from a man of Dr. Tom's caliber.  But, the thing that I remember and respect most about him (and a couple of points I'd like to impress upon you) was that he never gave up and he went for the win. 

They used to say he couldn't win the big one.  But, he won 3 National Titles as head coach when I was in college.  

He never gave up on the field and he stood behind his players . . . even when it would have been easier to move on.  He's most famous for going for a victory in 1984 when a tie would have one him his first National Title.  

 "We were trying to win the game," Osborne said. "I don't think you go for a tie in that case. You try to win the game. We wanted an undefeated season and a clear-cut national championship."

His persistence and focus on being victorious allowed him to go out on top . . . as a coach, AD, community servant (and most importantly as a man).  

An open letter to my son - Part 25

It's been over a week since I've made an blog entry in this series of notes to you.  It's easy to get sidetracked in life.  Business and busyness sometimes will cause you to loose sight of what is really important.

Your mom and I went to Atlanta last week for a meeting.  It's been a busy week at work.  Thanksgiving is next week . . . I could come up with a long list of excuses.

But, in the spirit of accountability and commitment, I must complete these next 14 blog entries for you.

My message and advice here is just really one word: FINISH

Ideas are a dime a dozen.  It's easy to act on the idea and get started.  But, it can be very difficult to see things through to their end.

Winners follow through.  Winners finish.

FINISH

An open letter to my son - Part 24

You have no way of controlling what others say or do.  But, you can control your reaction.

Contrary to popular opinion, reactions are a choice.  It's easy to be offended (and get defensive) when someone speaks ill of you.  But, why is that your business?  What other people think of you is really none of your business.  It's their opinion.

Be a you that you are proud of.  Refuse to defend that person to anyone who may choose to criticize who you are becoming.

An open letter to my son - Part 23

Roughly half of America woke up this morning pleased with yesterday's presidential election.  The other half woke up disappointed (i.e. yours truly).  As they say, "you win some, you lose some."

When times are good . . . don't get too high.

When times are not so good . . . they probably aren't as bad as you think.  Good times will soon return.  

I'm reminded of an old Dire Straights song that explains this phenomenon quite well:

"Well it's a strange old game - you learn it slow. One step forward and it's back to go. You're standing on the throttle. You're standing on the breaks. In the groove 'til you make a mistake.  

Sometime you're the windshield. Sometime you're the bug. Sometime it all comes together baby. Sometime you're a fool in love. Sometime you're the louisville slugger. Sometime you're the ball. Sometime it all come together. baby Sometime you're gonna lose it all."  

 Life has it's ups and downs.  Everything in nature moves in cycles.  So prepare yourself for both prosperity and the inevitable challenges.

An open letter to my son - Part 22

Most people that you meet are fearful and lazy.
Maintain your courage and hustle to lead the field.

An open letter to my son - Part 21

The world is noisy and getting noisier.

Text.  Email.  Facetime. Facebook. Farmville. Angrybirds. iPads. Movies on Demand . . .

I didn't have to experience all those distractions growing up.  

I can only imagine the list will be ever-expanding as you grown up.

Find time for Bennett each and every day.  

Reflect.  Count your blessings.  Meditate.  Just be.

That alone time will help you quiet the noise that surrounds you 

and allow you to focus on what is truly important.  

An open letter to my son - Part 20

This afternoon I watched my alma mater come from behind for an amazing victory.  With a few minutes left, I thought Nebraska had no chance in that football game.  They showed real grit and mental toughness in those last few minutes. They won the game with 6 seconds remaining.  

Develop your mental toughness for those setbacks that inevitably come in life.  Be resilient and be courageous.  With a "whatever it takes" attitude and a "never say never" mentality, you will surprise yourself with how many happy endings can come out of dire situations.  

Sometimes you need to be relentless. 

Persist with mental toughness.  There is always a way when you are committed.    

"Mental toughness is many things and rather difficult to explain. Its qualities are sacrifice and self-denial. Also, most importantly, it is combined with a perfectly disciplined will that refuses to give in. It’s a state of mind – you could call it ‘character in action." - Vince Lombardi

An open letter to my son - Part 19

Voice your opinion.  Be involved in your future. Vote!  

P.S.  I just filled out my ballot for the 2012 election.  I was voting on one issue:  Bennett's future!

An open letter to my son - Part 18

Don't be afraid to say "I don't know."   People who act like they have all the answers are desperately trying to disguise their own ignorance . . . or they are full of crap.  Usually it's both.  

Don't dance around the issue.  There is no shame in just saying "I don't know."

An open letter to my son - Part 17

Most people are “listening” with the intent to reply.  They are simply hearing you out and formulating a response.  

I encourage you to be an attentive listener (at the least).  Better yet, be an empathetic listener.  Listen to truly understand the person you are communicating with.  Put yourself in their shoes.  How would you feel if you were in their situation?

You must be vulnerable to be empathetic.  Be vulnerable and seek the welfare of the person you are listening to.  

If you work diligently to understand others you will be trusted, respected . . . and you will be understood.  

An open letter to my son - Part 16

Generally speaking, people go through life riddled with guilt.  They have a perpetual internal argument between who they have been and who they think they should be.  Many people look in the mirror and absolutely don't like the person who is looking back at them.

You will make mistakes.  You should make mistakes.  
Forgive yourself.  Move on.  
Practice self-acceptance.  Become your own best friend.  

An open letter to my son - Part 15

  Seize the day.  Tomorrow is promised to no one.  

An open letter to my son - Part 14

I can’t count how many times that you have asked me “why?” this weekend.  At 2 ½ years old, you have definitely entered your why phase.  Please don’t ever leave that phase.  

Look around and you will find people going about their days without intention . . . without purpose.  Simply put, they couldn’t answer your question “why?”.  They are just going through the motions and following the herd.  

Don’t buy into herd mentality.  In fact, find reasons to go against the grain.  In Earl Nightengale’s recordings he encourages people to find out what the majority of the people are doing, and do exactly the opposite.  

Be a leader!  

If you don’t understand why things are being done a certain way . . . ask “why?”   If you don’t get a qualified answer, there is probably a better way to do it . . . or it may not be necessary to do it at all.  

If you have a compelling “Why” or purpose to what you are doing the “Hows” will take care of themselves.  That “Why”  allows your mind to find the resources it needs to complete the mission.  Make “Why” foundational to what you do (and how you do them).  

An open letter to my son - Part 13

Your Great-grandfather, Robert, served as a medic in World War II.  I can’t fathom the horrors he must have seen.  Your Gido was also in the Army, as was I.  

They say it’s better to give than to receive.  I believe that you must give to receive.  Service is the only way you can create value for others and for the world.  

I hope you too dedicate your life to serving.  Military service is just one of the many ways to serve.  You may choose to serve your country.  That’s up to you . . . that’s freedom! Regardless of your choice, I hope you respect and honor those who have chosen to have wear a military uniform.  

Just one half of one percent of Americans have served this country in the past decade.  Some of those people gave their life to support the missions of this country.  Find ways to respect and honor those who have served in the Armed Forces.  Their dedication and sacrifices often go unnoticed . . . it shouldn't!  

An open letter to my son - Part 12

You need very few things.  A need is something you have to have.  If you want to know what you need, take a mission trip to Africa.  Go to a remote village.  See what the villagers have.  See what it takes for them to survive . . . that's what you need.  Food, water, shelter, air . . . that's about it.

Everything else is a want.  When all your real needs are met, it common for the wants to suddenly become "needs".

Most people think they "need" smart phones and a car.  Don't become baffled by popular culture.  Most things in your life are nothing more than a luxury.

Stay grateful.  Don't be a glutton.  Realize the stark contrast between needs and wants.

An open letter to my son - Part 11

Sometimes I wonder if you were “born” to be born in Colorado.  You seem to enjoy being outdoors so much.  In fact, when you were a baby . . . if you were inconsolably upset, I’d often just step outside and you would become serene.  

You love to swim, hike, and run.  I encourage you to never lose your awe of the outdoors.  It’s a great way to remember how connected to the rest of the universe you really are.  

Sometimes life will throw you curve balls.  Occasionally you will feel like your world is caving in.  Commune with nature!  Those immense Rocky Mountains can remind you how insignificant your problems are.  Nature will help recharge and reflect on your life.  

When you are feeling overwhelmed . . . let the fresh air, sun and adrenaline serve as your medicine.